I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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