It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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