He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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