Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
