Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
