It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i dont even know how to be here
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
