I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize