Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
