update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
