you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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