i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Send help, water and tortillas.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
