i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
