Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
