sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
