He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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