actually, I'm a sock model
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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