out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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