Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
someone owes me an orgasm
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
