I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
