wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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