So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize