You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
