Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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