You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
