party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
