It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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