I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize