Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
