If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
