Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
