New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You need a sexual gate keeper
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
