speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
