If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize