it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
