i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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