i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
