If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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