I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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