I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
