a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
