this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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