I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
