he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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