How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
