I bet he comes in French.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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