i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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