I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
