Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
