I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
