6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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