Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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