Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
