Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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