maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
