Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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