don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
