Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
