we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize