Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize