i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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