Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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