He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
