i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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