Redeem this text for a blowjob
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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