he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my being single is dangerous.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
