Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
