Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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