Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I still have a little drunk in my system
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
