Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize