Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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