Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize