Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
