i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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